35 day detox

Okay yesterday i began a 35 day prgram to detox my body and drop some poundage as well it started with day 1: pineapple, pineapple, pineapple An entire head of iceberg lettuce, an entire onion, leek, cuke, 4 tomatoes and 2 ears of corn. It sucked. I have to give up artificial sweeteners (diet pepsi) and substituted with green tea. Not a great compromise, IMHO! I was headachy all day, grumpy, aggravated and really unhappy after my fast/detox yesterday until I got on the scale. 4.6 lbs! I know it's just water but heck yea! Combined with last week's 2.2 and that's 6.8 lbs since last Wednesday. Today's menu: prunes (lots), strawberries and two baked potatoes. Let's see how today goes. At least after the scale incident, I have motivation to go forward with Day 2. Prunes...umm woo hoo?

Spell check auto correct

The previous post was written on my iPhone. Thus the severe atrocious grammatical errors. Figure it out, use context clues people. Lol. Sorry. :)

Checking in

Life comes at us at the speed of light. Time gets away from us and the next thing you know, a week has gone by.

My running schedule has become a little tainted this week. I was running every day until Saturday. I hurt my knee and was hardly able to walk on it, let alone run. So I continued with a brisk walk fir 2 miles instead of the c25k program. I really think once the weight comes off significantly, the knees will be more forgiving.

Ever have one of those weeks where self-pity turns into a ticket to cheatsville? My nemesis is hearty crusty artisan breads. Yum. In the battle of willpower, I'm done. Yummy crusty bread of the heavens: 1, Fatty: 0.

I've been adding some square, lunges, with weights (wrist-4lbs) to my repertoire . Liking it, my arse feels like hell but that means it's working right?

As much as I stick to my WW points, only use earned activity points, I can't seem to shed weight at a decent rate. I don't know why its not just falling off. I'm losing at the same rate as my sedentary self. The wonder if it's even worth it keeps swirling, that is until I looked at a photograph if myself. Sickened, I've decided to take this to the next level, quit my crying, screw the knee, only whole foods (no more packaged shit), and majestic myself proud.

I am DB "friends" with a woman who is a runner and started a FB group for moms who run etc. Well her story is this: she's 38, a mom to I believe three kids, had a stroke at 21, was a newlywed at the time. The docs said she would never walk, talk, be normal again. Her brand new young hubby helped nurse her back and now today she's done 5 full marathons, runs 8 miles a day. Despite her odds, her "sentence", she rose above. Man, if she can, we all can.

Wheezing elephant

Hi all! Sorry I haven't updated. We had a busy weekend and I am just now getting around to writing. I have been diligent on my running program. I try to run (or at least walk) every day and I feel like I'm starting to long for it in my bones and muscles. I had a knee injury when I was pregnant with Sara that has decided to rear it's ugly head again. Mostly it's just pain on the side of the patella, almost like a bruise. I am just continuing to run on it, because I know once this weight drops off, the pain in my joints, my knees, my tibia, hips, etc, will start to go away. I am down 3 lbs this week and am trying to stick to my WW plan. It was hard on Friday, as we were having a birthday party for a good friend with lots of goodies. I stuck to half a hamburger patty sans bun, grilled asparagus, and fresh pico de gallo. I faltered a little by having two large bites of the awesome birthday cake I baked...yum and by the single malt scotch that a good friend was pouring. Therefore, using all my points and borrowing from the "free" weekly points as well.

Of course this meant that I ran extra hard the next evening. I am up to a 2.1 mile walk/run. I alternate 90 seconds of run with 2:00 of walk, for 30 minutes and a 5 min warm up/and cool down. It's my 40 minutes of me time and I love it!

I have not yet adopted the "runner" label. It's more like a "wheezing, red-faced elephant trotting" title I bear.

so, I'm trying to fit in running as a part of my life, like brushing my teeth. Couple this with two toddlers, one of which who is potty training (sigh). Now can you see why I look forward to my 4o minutes a day of torture?

Cheers!

the dreaded weigh in

Wednesday: Weigh in day. I feel like the contestants on BL must feel. In my head I'm hoping for big money, but for some reason still think it's going to be a bigger number.

Down 1.3 more lbs since last Wed. Not bad, not what I hoped for, but sort of expected with Memorial Day, a Pabst Blue Ribbon or two, and a nice 2 oz Filet last night.

Back on the routine today. Usually I wait until 6:30-7:30 to do my run, as the sun is not so brutal. I am actually looking forward to it today. Once some more weight drops off, I think my "trot" will turn into more of a "run". I feel like I am using excess energy while running on just trotting my own body weight, rather than being more aerodynamic. That will come once the majority of the weight is off. Then...a gazelle. lol

I realized that I don't really like the Wii fit for anything other than my weigh ins, yoga and just for "fun" activities. I need to step it up if I want results. Time to get serious!

my AHA moment

It's difficult, sometimes, to allow my wall to come down. I think writing makes it a little easier, but still, I am still so guarded. My husband asked me last night what my decision making moment to get healthy was. Of course I gave some lame-ass response: get healthy, lose weight, fit into my cute clothes, etc etc. But, it was on my mind last night. I tossed and turned all night fighting with myself and my demons. I had one question: Why have you failed so often?

I have been very successful with weight loss in the past. I usually realize that I have 10, 20 lbs to lose and just stop eating shit and get my ass to the gym and lose said weight. Most of the time it just falls off in a couple months. I realized, though, that after the weight is off, I feel like my job is "done" and I reward myself with my old habits. Thus, the vicious cycle. I also dug a little deeper into my id. Why the failure? Why the dragging of the heels, etc. Why is it okay for me to remain overweight. Is it because I'm a mom now? Do I need to just throw away the True Religion jeans and get MOM jeans now? All my life I have always tried to "please" everyone. My parents, my sisters, my teachers, professors, husbands, now kids. I never felt "worthy" enough to truly believe that I deserve to own something that is just that, my own.

I have done for others, served others, fed, grown, made others. I continue to soothe others, feed, clean, nurture, listen to, and do for others. This has left me devoid of any self-worth. Yes, I know that others see me as a beacon to this family, but I need to define me again. I need to be proud of ME and finish something for ME again. I thought back to why things I've tried to do since becoming a mom have not worked out well for me. Take Mary Kay. I loved doing MK. I set out for it to be just for ME! To have something that was just my own. It was great until I realized that what I was doing was all being done for everyone else: sell more so your superior can get her cadillac, make other women feel good about themselves. This was all great, but: "what about me"? Again, doing for others and not for me.

I was looking through pictures of me when I was young, self-confident, full of life, prior to having gone through the stress of a husband deployed to war and then a near-foreclosure, a stressful move to Pittsburgh while pregnant, having two kids in two years, leaving a job that defined me, leaving friends, raising two kids with NO family around, and realized that I am OLD! I have aged 10 years in the past 5. I looked down at my stomach, my battlescars of growing, making, nurturing two beautful girls, and started to cry. "What good am I if I am miserable"? How can I raise two girls in this world of perfection to have great self-image if I am miserable inside? How can I preach health and happiness if I, myself, am not? (fill in aha moment).

Running sucks, let's face it. It hasn't become this wonderful, great "thing" to me....yet. but, I am out there, sweating and wheezing my way back to me.

In time I know that I will grow to love it, it will become a part of my everyday life. An appendage that just defines me. I will add runner to my list.

Memorial Day

Today was kind of a weird day for us. Hubby was rather melancholy. Thoughts of friends he lost in Iraq were heavy on his mind today, and mine as well. I just let him tell me stories of the brothers who were killed in action. Therapeutic for him, special for me to hear of these brave men.

I always feel guilty on Memorial Day. Guilt over not thinking of, paying tribute to, or remembering the men/women who served, sacrificed, lost lives. Makes me sad, but proud to have done my "serving", if you will.

Today we took the kiddos to Living Treasures Animal Park. It's like a Petting Zoo in disney. Great animals, well maintained and not crowded! :)

Addison LOVED it! She especially loved the snakes (eew), and the turtles and the peacock which Sara was imitating. Great time and so glad we drove the hour to get there.

I was not going to run today (slacker), but decided to when my husband said to me (as I was eating a WW dark chocolate and raspberry bar-only 2 points), "aren't you supposed to be on a diet"? Yea, butt-head, I AM on a diet. Motivation enough to get me into my brand new Asics Nimbus and on that track. I strapped on the iPhone (the C25K app), some Lady Gaga, put my paws in the air and hoofed my arse up to the track at Carlynton High. 1.7 miles in 90 degree heat (no lie). Only me, only I would decide to do my run at 6:30 at the hottest part of the day. After a 5 min warm up, I alternate 60 second run, 90 second walk, for 20 min, then a 5 min cool down. That's the first week's schedule and next week will up the run to 90 seconds, 2:00 walk...

Ate:

2 egg whites scrambled with white cheddar and asparagus on 1 slice of eziekiel 4:9 sprouted grain bread

L: 1 Morningstar Farms grillers (veggie burger) sans bun with 1 oz white cheddar
1/2 c pasta salad (homemade: penne, balsamic vin, safflower oil, asparagus spears, cukes, onion, celery, lemon juice)

snack: WW dark chocolate and raspberry frozen bar (guess I'm a fatty , lol)

I know I should eat some dinner right now, but I'm still nauseous from the run, I will prob make a salad from the lettuce and veggies from our garden.

thanks for reading my boring so-called life LOL

day off tomorrow from running, but will do Yoga on Wii Fit Plus. NEED to stretch and relax.

H